1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
