wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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