it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
