I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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