i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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