We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
