I don't usually arrange sex via text message
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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