I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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