I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
