32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
