id be glad to
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
