I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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