we made out on top of his cat.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
the raccoons are back...
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