Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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