its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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