just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
