Your dad touched me again.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Im part way to drunk.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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