somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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