I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
