My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
