Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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