xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i out mim tonsoeep
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize