NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?