STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.