piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
No idea. I blame fireball.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.