since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
