Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
