I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
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My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
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You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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