I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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