just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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