hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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