I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
