what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
even my farts smell like vagina
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize