Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
