im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
my liver is dry heaving
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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