her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
