You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
