big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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