Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
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She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
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Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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