im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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