Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
