3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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