How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
