I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
