Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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