I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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