Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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