have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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