Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize