I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Come see our sink grown plant.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
