He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
