its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
