thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
