I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
