yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
