Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
