Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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