I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
