maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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