Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
