Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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