you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
