nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize