just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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