Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
