It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize