so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
