How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
